When I was in Junior High and possibly younger I, like a lot of other girls I'm sure, thought that the only way to get boys to notice you was to wear makeup and have silky smooth hair. I didn't really lose this mindset in high school, I think I was just too tired to get up and care. I dated a guy for three and a half years in high school and he didn't seem to care when I didn't wear makeup but he did like it when I did. I would get the occasional, "Why don't you wear red lipstick like my mom does?" (I still see his mom almost every day and that's something we laugh about every once and a while). Then I started dating my would-be husband and my whole world just changed. My husband doesn't like makeup. Not even a little bit. I honestly don't think he's one of those guys that thinks girls are trying to trick guys into thinking they're pretty. Through the conversations we've had I have deduced that he doesn't like looking at my face and seeing obvious makeup texture. And, I get it. It's hard for me to see others wear the wrong foundation shade or cake it on so thick that you're waiting for it to crack. Him not liking makeup has done two very important things for my psyche. First, I feel comfortable enough to go bare faced when I want and still feel beautiful because that's the way my man prefers me. Second, I love applying makeup and experimenting with new products and tricks so he's going to have to live with that, but I do strive to look as lifelike and natural as possible when I do.  

Last night we went to a business dinner. I'd gone pretty bare faced during the day so I went home and spent way too much time on my makeup to get ready. I loved the eye look that I created, but when I started applying the base products everything seemed to go the opposite direction of what I wanted. First I applied way too much of the salmon shade of Amazing Cosmetics Amazing Concealer Corrector to my under eyes and it was a bitch to blend. Next, I decided to mix my Cover FX Custom Cover Drops in with my Becca Backlight Priming Filter. I've done this before and it looks so beautiful and naturally radiant but this time for some reason from the second that I applied it I felt like I was wearing a mask. I think in retrospect that I might have mixed in too much for the Custom Cover Drops. Then I applied Benefit Dandelion Dew drops to my cheeks lightly with a stippling brush and I instantly felt like a clown. Normally this blush looks natural and glowy. Not this time. I resisted the urge to wipe everything off and start over - I'd already wasted too much time. Instead, everything that I did from that point forward was to counterbalance all that "damage" I'd just done. In the end, I used a light dusting of Hourglass Ambient Lighting powders to make my face look more lifelike and a spritz of Make Up Forever Mist & Fix Setting Spray to counteract any powderiness I was experiencing. I looked fine. I had actually left the house with a well applied face of makeup. I got compliments when people saw me. But here's the thing; I knew that I had two camps of people around me. The first advocate was sitting right next to me and without asking, I knew that Husband didn't like my look and felt that I had wasted my time doing things I didn't need to to my face. The second camp appreciated the effort that I made and knew that I had expertly applied a face of makeup that I could be proud of. So what's a girl to do? 

I have chosen to join my own camp and it's a camp that advocates for whatever makes me happy. I like this camp. Honestly, I didn't like last night's makeup look. I was proud that I had made it work, but I didn't feel like myself. I didn't feel natural or beautiful. I was actually more embarrassed that anyone had said anything that drew attention to my makeup than I was appreciative the compliment. I don't think they were facetious at all - they were genuine. I just was hoping it was natural enough to other people for me to forget about everything I'd done. It didn't ruin my night at all. I had a great time with great people. The first thing I did when I got home was wash my face and take my contacts out though. And, it was instantly a relief. I loved knowing that I can recover from my mistakes but I will not be going for that look again. Lessons learned.  So what does make me happy? Some days, like today I'm perfectly happy finishing my skincare routine and then walking out the door. Other days, it's applying the same makeup I've worn all week long. Other days it's trying out a new blush or bronzer or eyeshadow palette. I am a complex individual. 

I'm usually bare faced on weekends unless I have some place to be. I also liberally allow myself to go to the office bare faced once a week. This one has been a little harder for me. These days things are a bit different but it used to be very taboo for me to have no makeup on in a professional setting. After college, I ended up in a corporate setting for almost ten years. For half of that, I answered to male bosses. With male bosses I had about the same philosophy as I do now. If I get makeup on great, if I don't then great also. Obviously for special events and meetings I made the extra effort to polish my appearance. The second half of my employment I had almost all female higher-ups. Things quickly changed. No one ever sat down and had a one-on-one conversation with me, but it was made clear that makeup was pretty much expected at all times. It was the way that they gauged how much effort I was putting into my self every day. If I wasn't wearing makeup then I wasn't committed to my job and I'd never getting ahead in life. It became really stressful and it never felt like I was going through the process for me. It was always to impress someone else because they had mandated that I should. Even if I wore makeup it seemed like it was never enough. "Great job on the eyeshadow and mascara, try eyeliner next time though." This was not a good time for me. Now, I work for myself and I truly feel successful even on the days that I don't wear makeup. But it wasn't always that way, it took a long time for me not to feel like a failure for not wearing makeup in the office every day. Sure, from time to time now I'll see myself in the mirror and start to focus on how small my eyes look without eyeshadow and mascara on, but then I'll force myself to focus instead on how smooth and glowing my skin looks on it's own. 

The biggest thing for me to truly feel at home and be okay with being bare faced again was to embrace a skincare routine that I love. I was thinking about it the other day and originally when I signed up for Birchbox three years ago, I was kind of disappointed in how little makeup I was getting. I really wanted to try new makeup but this box was packed full of skincare and perfume and hair care. It's all really good stuff but I wanted makeup. I almost cancelled my subscription but as I started using the skincare and getting to know the brands I really decided I liked what I was getting. Today, I can credit Birchbox for probably half of my skincare routine. I have found products that I enjoy and look forward to using and I see how much different my skin is, for the better, now that I enjoy taking care of it. That makes it easier to show my face to the world without a stitch of makeup on.  

The other things is that people don't treat me any differently on the days that I don't wear makeup versus the days that I do. I will even get compliments on how cute I look on the days that I don't wear makeup. I think the difference is confidence. Once I embraced caring for myself as opposed to hiding my flaws my confidence grew. Who cares what some judgy b!%@# thinks? 

I'm curious what your thoughts on it are.  There seems to be a lot of articles and discussion on social media about embracing a makeup free face these days. Is that something that's acceptable in your workplace? How confident are you in your own skin?